Reflections

Reflections

As I sit here approaching my 33rd birthday I've been doing a lot of thinking and in this post I'm going to share a lot of things that I've never shared with anyone before it's about something that happened to me a few years ago

I woke up early one Monday morning approaching a surgery in my life

Expected to be home in about a week after having the surgery but that's just not how it went

Before I went into surgery that morning I told my mother I love her and I said my prayers with her as I always do before I have a surgery and I told her that I would be okay

I woke up in recovery after surgery and the thing I remember the most is feeling like I was having a seizure when I first woke up my legs were shaking uncontrollably and I can't stop it....I remember the nurse asked me if I was okay and I said no I cannot stop it you need to help me I cannot stop my legs from shaking I have no control over what they are doing you need to come down she says calm down and just relaxand I continually said I cannot come down and I cannot relax this is not my control I don't have control of my legs......let me clarify I've never had a seizure in my life before but that's definitely what this felt like....the nurse gave me something to calm down my legs...at that point I knew this was not going to be a fun ride ...I thought to myself and didn't tell anyone but this is not going to be a fun ride and I'm not going to be home in a week

I was in the hospital over a month up and down on the rehab floor to the main floor to the surgery floor I was all over that hospital for a month...I had three to four surgeries in less than a week.....throwing up not eating could keep nothing down....lots and lots of fevers

My mother and family members were sitting by my side praying that I would be okay if they would find a solution so that I could go home Safely

Friends in and out of my room making sure that I was ok and I know a lot of them have never seen you like that before......I can't tell you how many times I thought I was going to die I would lay in my bed at night pray to God give me one more day

I was so overwhelmed with all the decisions that in front of me but I knew I had to make them

After the last surgery and I went through in that month that I was in the hospital the doctor looks at me and says...Misty I would not try to have children if you try to have children there's a chance it might kill you...that literally broke my heart if I was being honest at that point it was worse than somebody told me I might die because all of my life that's all wanted is to be a mother and now to have somebody tell me I can't be a mother just breaks my heart

In that month I was in the hospital I blocked a lot of it out I don't remember a lot of it and at this point it's probably a good thing that I don't remember half of what happened all I know is that it wasn't good

It's nothing that I want to relive

But actually why I'm sharing this with you today it's because I see all these mothers with children they want you make sure that you love them and that you hug them and tell them that they are enough and you love them for who they are

If I stop by your page and like a post and say your daughter's.... son looks amazing or sweet or you should be so proud of them ....take those comments as a good thing and if you haven't told your children you love them today take some time and say I love you and then I'm proud of you

If you've reached this point please press the like button below

Just suppose reflecting back on a big part of my life and I know that coming in May will be a year since I had this new pump placed.....I'm so healthy now emotionally physically it's just amazing how much better I feel so I figured that it was time for me to share that just one feeling on what happened not too long ago but so far away

Don't take anything for granted because you don't know what tomorrow is going to be just like I don't know what tomorrow is going to be.....I could write this today and tomorrow I could be gone......I don't have plans on going anywhere but you never know how life goes so friends love laugh and live..... enjoy Who You Are...... enjoy who you want to be ......enjoy your family just...... enjoy the time on this Earth because you never know what's going to happen tomorrow

I love you with all my heart continue to have a great Monday and I will try to write again tomorrow but please take this in